The other day, I went shopping in a new place that has the weirdest configuration of parking spots, aisles, and arrows that I have ever seen. I’ve been there a few times and, since this was my first Saturday off in years, I now know what people do with their time -SHOP!

In my confusion, I saw a sign that said “drive-thru” with one arrow signaling straight ahead and the other a turn.

It ended up being a sign for the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant. And I was stuck.

So here I am in a long line with no way out, feeling stupid and embarrassed. When the young lady with the clipboard came over to take the order, I calmly said I wasn’t ordering and got in the wrong line. We smiled at each other, but I could only imagine her rolling her eyes as she moved to the next “real” customer.

Of course, I had to wait ten minutes to get out of the line but, being a daily practitioner of Mindfulness Meditation, I used that time to think about being in the moment and relating to each situation as it is. I was in no hurry, so I didn’t need to be irritated, and in fact, it was kind of funny.

When I got to the window where people normally pick up their order, I told the woman I changed my mind. I  drove away thinking,  “man, I must be the only guy who has ever done this” and wondered if my aging brain was beginning to lose some sharpness.

So here’s the funny thing. When I mentioned this folly to my wife, she said she’s done the same thing at the same place and was told that people do it all the time!

I was relieved to think it was not just me. But I couldn’t help wondering if this happens often,  maybe someone should reconfigure the signs.

That’s beside the point, though.

So what is my point?

First, finding moments to be present to “what is” at any given time allows us to be curious about all our experiences rather than resisting the reality in the moment or judging ourselves for how we should be in a “better” moment.

This is what the mind does. It refuses to accept the present moment when it is not the moment we WANT it to be. It clings to the moment we want it to be, resisting the reality in front of us. This is what Buddhist philosophy and psychology help us to understand and work with to lessen our struggle against reality, such as it is, in any given moment.

Struggling against reality just causes more pain.

 

The other point of this is discovering that I am not special or unique in making mistakes or taking a wrong path.

It’s almost always a surprise to hear that others have had similar experiences to ours as if everyone else is so perfect, smart, alert, etc. and we are the deficient ones. In truth, we do misread or misinterpret “signs” all the time in our lives, whether in relationships or the world at large. The practice is to remember that there really are no “wrong” lines or situations IF we chose to relate to the moment as it is and be curious about our experience.

Having this kind of open-mindedness allows many otherwise frustrating, irritating, engaging, shaming, experiences to be a source of enlightenment and growth, not something negative. If we look at any time we are judging, angry, anxious, frustrated, arguing, cursing under our breath about the driver in front of us, traffic, or getting in the wrong line,. it is always a sign we’re fighting against the reality of the moment.

I tell myself and my clients all the time, “ when you fight against reality, reality wins 100% of the time.

Why not learn how to turn off the “struggle button” and let the flow of the moment be what it is and teach us the valuable lessons being present has to offer! This is a life skill that, with a little daily practice, can result in major life changes over time. More on how to do this coming soon!